One More Chance
by Nicole Marie1
Summary: This is a short, very sad fanfic. It is written from Sheridan’s point of view. What is it about? You’ll have to read to find out! Sorry if it’s depressing or a little bit disturbing to you………which it probably will be...please read and REVIEW!


One More Chance By: Nicole Marie  
  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with nor do I own the show Passions, James E. Reilly, or the any of the characters in the show. I am merely an obsessed Shuis fan who loves to write fan fiction about the best characters on the show. So don't sue me! Just sit back and enjoy the story!  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: This is a short, very sad fanfic. It is written from Sheridan's point of view. What is it about? You'll have to read to find out! Sorry if it's depressing or a little bit disturbing to you...which it probably will be... I'll understand if you'd rather not read it, I just felt like writing something sad...  
  
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Standing alone in the cool, crisp evening air, I wrapped my arms more tightly around my waist for warmth. I sighed and gazed up into the heavens above, searching for something to give me comfort, something to give me strength. I had never felt so alone before, but it was no mystery as to why I felt this way. It was to be expected after the true love of one's life had left them forever.  
  
Touching my finger to my lips, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine the feel of his lips upon mine. I felt nothing. No different than usual. I shivered, feeling a chill come over me all of a sudden. I knew the chill wasn't from the frigid night air, it was from the inner depths of my soul, which were crying out in pain. The cries I tried to ignore.  
  
I was not the same person I once was. Instead of being the warm and loving woman who would do anything and everything for the ones I loved, I had become bitter and filled with hatred. I loathed those who had happiness, had what I lacked. I tried to block out my emotions and put up a cold, harsh front to those who dared to cross my path. I did not seek out trouble, but gave it to those who tried to help me. And people did try to help me. Even after everything they offered love, support, and comfort to me, but I refused it all. Ha! As if they knew what I was really feeling. They couldn't understand. They would never understand. And I was fine with that. I didn't need anyone, no one at all. People only caused me problems and hurt me more than I would ever want to acknowledge. What good were people to me when all they did was bring me more unhappiness and more pain? But the ironic thing was, it was me who truly brought the pain upon myself. The people there just made it harder to deal with.  
  
A gentle breeze whipped around me, penetrating the thin material of my dark, black jacket and brushing my soft blonde curls away from my face. I looked out at the ocean with harsh, unyielding eyes. I hated the ocean. It was too beautiful, too perfect. Why should something be allowed to be so perfect?  
  
I raised my arm and looked at the delicate gold wristwatch I wore. 4:39....great. I'd been out here practically all night long. Not that I cared though. It's not like it mattered, like I had any other place that I wanted to go. I angrily tore off my watch and threw it into the ocean. The last thing I needed was a worthless piece of junk to tell me the time. I didn't have anywhere to be. Why wear a stupid watch to let me know how much time I was wasting?  
  
Things hadn't always been this way. No.there was a time where I could remember loving every minute of every day. I would sit around for hours, just staring at the clock and waiting for the minute when the true joy in my life would come home and envelope me in his protective, secure embrace. I would gaze into his eyes and get lost in their hazy depths, consumed by my love for him. We had the promise of a loving future and a wonderful life together. In the end, I thought this meant that I would end up with a close, loving family and everyone would be eternally happy forever and ever.  
  
But I was left with nothing. Nothing but a broken heart and a lost soul. The worst part was that I'd had no control at all over what had happened. What happened had come from the past I'd fought so hard to forget. So, it was left to the hands of fate. But could fate really be so cruel and unforgiving?  
  
And this anger.....I closed my eyes.....There was always this incredible anger that I felt. I was angry at the world, everything and everyone in it. All the memories I held, even the good ones, did not serve to take away the pain. They seemed only to make it all worse, make it all harder to bear.  
  
I could see the first rays of sunshine peek over the horizon. The world was ready for a new day and I was stuck in the previous one. I wasn't ready for any new day, much less this one. It's not like things were going to change today. It's not like things were going to change ever.  
  
Maybe it's better this way. Maybe this is the way that things were supposed to turn out. I guess I just wasn't meant to have the life I wanted; the life I wanted was the life I didn't deserve. "Oh well, maybe in the next lifetime," I said bitterly out loud to myself.  
  
I walked over to the water's edge and just stared into the empty, nothingness that lay before me. Everything looked this way to me. Dark, bleak, and hopeless. How had this all happened? When did I let myself be the root of such evil. I had many questions, but no answers.  
  
I didn't believe that it was possible to be subject to this kind of pain. I didn't even know such misery was possible. Nothing could change it though. This was my life now.....This is what it had become.  
  
As I walked, I recalled the sequence of events in my head one by one, reliving the pain of each of them as I saw them play in my head. It began to rain then. The winds shifted direction and picked up but I didn't feel the increased coldness. I only felt empty. I heard rumbles of thunder in the distance and saw a few brilliant flashes of lightning.  
  
It was all my fault.....I ruined it......I had ruined it all. The innocent memories of a young girl turned out to be a reality to painful to endure. What I had done to the man I loved was unforgivable. I had taken his beloved family member away from him, taken his life away from him. He could never look at me the same after that. Sometimes he couldn't look at me at all. I couldn't blame him......I couldn't look at myself either.  
  
The pain didn't end there.....It was my fault that another person he loved died too. I killed his brother because of the stupid mistakes I made. His mother, stricken with grief, could not even bring herself to get out of bed in the morning, not even to light a candle for the men she loved and pray for their safety and their peace. She died in her sleep one dark winter night, trying to search for a contentment and a peace that had to be waiting for her somewhere. His siblings despised me and they eventually broke down when they could not bear to see their family hurt any longer by the likes of me. And my love, he tried to move on with another without success; he never completely got over all the pain I had caused him and his family. After witnessing such death and sorrow became a thing he could no longer bear to see, he took his own life one day. He chose death over life to escape me and the evil I brought with me home. He never even got to see his son, the son that lived only for a few days. I think our son was trying to hold on for his daddy.  
  
I've caused all of this. It's all my fault that the family I loved more than anything thing in the world was destroyed. These are things I can never change......If I had only one wish, it would be that I, Sheridan Crane, had never came home. At least that way, a family would have been spared. The lives of those I loved would have been long and full of happiness. If only I hadn't come.  
  
I walked to the rocky cliffs that surrounded the edge of the water. Inhaling sharply, I grasped the rocks firmly and climbed my way to the top. I stop at the top and looked out into the distance and slowly lightening sky. But it was still dark enough to see the stars. I found the brightest one and looked to it for guidance. Smiling tearfully, I made a wish on that star. I wished for love and happiness. I wished for laughter and good times to remember. I wished for a loving family and all the joy and comfort that home can provide. But most of all, I wished for another chance. One more chance in another life to undo the wrong I've done. A chance to bring only joy unto others rather than pain. And a chance to make the man I love know how sorry I am and how much I love him now and forever. I looked up into the sky to that beautiful star, shining as if it was only visible to my eyes alone.  
  
"I know it's too late to take away the pain I've caused in this life......But please, I won't make the same mistakes again.All I need is one more chance........" And with those words, I jumped into the dark, churning waters below, never looking back and determined to look only forwards.......  
  
The End 


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